New Years Eve, a night of remembrance, celebration, new promises, new commitments. A night to begin something new.
Everyone has some sort of New Years resolution whether it's to become more active at the gym, be more involved with family or even cutting from 4 coffees a day to 3. Everyone (or most people) have something they want to accomplish in the New Year. "New Year New Me" is normally the phrase you hear, but when I was thinking of my resolutions or things I wanted to change, one thing that stood out to me the most was where I was at with the Lord.
"I have come to this place in my life, I'm full but I'm not satisfied" I had a wonderful 2017. I lived in Australia and the states for a short time, I fell in love with an amazing man and he asked me to do life with him. I was happy, I was full, but today as I'm writing this, I'm not satisfied.
(Like most people experience) my relationship with Jesus has been a rollercoaster. All sorts of loops and spirals, drops and straight angles. I've had my highs and my lows that's for sure and never will I be perfect but one thing I do know is that He is. I feel like there's days where I forgot how Great my God is, he's the Great I AM, how could I forget that? A few years ago I was in a very dark place, I was partying, consuming too much alcohol, I was struggling with bulimia and doing all sorts of things to fulfil what I thought was 'missing'. This is the time I first encountered Jesus... and man, was it amazing. He met me at the lowest of lows and pulled me out the grave.
When I first met Jesus, I was head over heels, I was so excited to spend time with him, so excited for church, so hungry to read the word and learn more and more each day, and then one day, it just stopped. I became lazy with my devotions, I got distracted way to easily and in the blink of an eye, I was back at my low. Not the low I once experienced but a low of where I felt alone, insecurities flooded over me, I lost any confidence I gained and I lost who I was.
The good news about my Jesus is that he doesn't give up. "Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!" Isaiah 49:15. Jesus is along the journey with you, whether you forget him at the bus stop, or on a secluded island with no boat, he'll take a detour to get back to you. That's the good news, He will NEVER leave you.
"For the LORD will not abandon His people" Psalm 94:14
"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you He will not fail you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
"Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, 'I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU'" Hebrews 13:5
"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18
So for my New Years resolution this year, I wanna go back to the day I met Jesus for the first time, I wanna better myself with Him, I want to be hungry to read the word and experience who He is. "Let love come teach me who You are again. Would you take me back to the place where my heart was only about You. And all I wanted was just to be with You? Come and do whatever You want to"
So that is my prayer for 2018, that I will get back to where I was when I first met Jesus "New Year, Old Me"
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