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Writer's picturePaige Lancelot

before him

Updated: Jan 6, 2020


Once upon a time I was hungover, in messy situations, with a desire to be noticed. I drank to much, handed myself over to boys like an object and danced on tabletops. Eventually a time came where my dancing was cut short. I realised that what I was doing wasn't filling the void in my heart, it was actually making it bigger.

2 years ago I gave my life to Christ. I was living in Melbourne, Australia, continuing my routine of waking up hungover and going to bed after having to much to drink. Till one day, I showed up to Hillsong Church. Walking into this place I had absolutely no desire to be there, yet, the people welcomed me with open arms, they wanted me there. How does that make sense? I'm some random unheard of - Canadian girl that entered a place I don't belong in. At least I didn't think I belonged in. They treated me like the daughter of the most High King.

After a few days of going to Hillsong Church, God spoke. "YWAM" with a picture of the logo. For those who don't know "YWAM", it's a Christian organisation that disciples young people to "Know God & Make Him Known" Me? Learning about God then telling people about him? By a huge leap of faith, I was obedient.

That week I flew to Brisbane, and started my discipleship training school, within 2 weeks I gave my life to Christ. Normally people would say "and my life was changed since." And of course it has don't get me wrong, giving my life to Jesus was the best decision i've ever made. However, what people don't understand is my life didn't catapult from frat party to faith journey overnight. I was a Christian on paper but for many months I still fell into old habits, caved into peer pressure and kissing boys.

Humans struggle with temptation it's in our very nature "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" Matthew 26:41. Stay close to God and he'll never let you go. In the book of Luke (chapter 22 to be exact) Peter, one of Jesus' close friends denied him 3 times. However, it's not about the fall, it's about what you do with it. There's a huge difference between failure and falling. Jesus didn't pray that Peter wouldn't deny him but that he would remain Faithful. When Jesus resurrected Peter was first to jump off the boat and run to Jesus. When shame took over Peter's heart, he had the faith to come back to Jesus. It's not your PERFECTION but your FAITH.

Daily i'm still learning who I am, how to laugh, giving things to God and how to fully love him with my whole-heart. One thing i'm sure of is: GOD DOESN'T GIVE UP. God is faithful. No one is too far gone, un-healable or unfix-able. No one who has a broken leg has it healed overnight, it takes time, doctors instruction, medicine and patience.

Hebrews 11:6 "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

Receive Jesus' medicine of love and let him take a hold of your heart to mend the damages.




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